i found my old photobucket account

i used to paint happy trees

my friend ashley

so lately i have been thinking "thank goodness for ashley."
we have our ups and downs but she is always there when no one else really cares to listen.
that is one thing i admire, she is not flakey. like others.

follow up

yeah so here is a p.s. because all negative posts should be counterbalanced with a neutral or positive one. here is an attempt at the latter:

its pretty hot in my room right now, so i opened the window and there is a slightly warm breeze wafting in. it is giving me great feelings. i like the time i spent single today. i got to do things like go to the gym and then neglect to shower, watch hours of mindless tv with my roommates, read my scriptures, write in my journal, and cuddle with good ole lambert.

yeah, thats all i have to say. this is a boring post. sorry.

pearly white

i'm so depressed. i starting crying in the middle of wal-mart and i had to walk away and hide amongst the baby clothes to collect myself.

these days happiness is fleeting and completely circumstantial.

i seriously can't go on like this. something has got to give.


EDIT// i just deleted 90% of the meat of this blog because it was unfit for the www. i knew i would regret it as soon as i hit "post." anyway, tonight i am semi-proud of myself. while in the depths of the weeping and gnashing of teeth i decided to look outside myself and do something nice for someone else. after i completing my deed of service i feel a little (not completely) better and my tears are all dried up. this font looks like it is getting bigger and bigger.

pronounced jo-an

so, those of you who know me at all may be a little confused about the title of my blog. aubrey joan evans. for as long as i can remember i have refused to divulge my middle name to anyone unless bribed or threatened. but i recently decided to embrace every part of me that i hate, starting with my middle name. joan was the name of my great grandmother.

bye to you

a couple people read my blog that i do not approve of. therefore i will be changing my blog address in a couple days and you will not find this blog unless you personally ask me for the url. and if you do ask for the url, i would kindly solicit that you do not link my blog anywhere on yours so as to avoid further snoopage from these certain unauthorized blog stalkers.

so let it be written, so let it be done.

honeymoon

okay so i just got home from my first "introduction to vienna" class. i'm ecstatic about everything that i heard. well except for the rule that we can't ride vespas, but that is fine because i wouldn't want to ruin my trip because i crashed and broke my rib or died or something. one rule that i cracked up about was we aren't allowed to date anyone within the program or any sexy austrian boys. ummm...? i asked my teacher how he can put restrictions on love, in jest of course, and he chuckled and admitted that 2 of his sons secretly dated and eventually married girls they met on study abroad. not that i would even consider that, because i am already in love and can't imagine a lonnnng-distance relationship with a german speaking foreigner would be worth much. i'm rambling but i can't think coherently because i am so excited! cobblestone streets, horse-drawn carriages, rolling green hills topped with crumbling castles, german pastries and italian gelato, viennese clock shops run by old german men, breath-taking cathedrals towering in the center of the city, waltzing in the street under a flickering street-lamp, lazy gondola rides in the warm evening with the water lapping ryhtmically against the walls of the canal...

also, what is the matter with people? about 40% of the people i talk to think that vienna is in italy...embarrassing.

looking glass self

karma, you beotch. yesterday was so great that you had to make today AWFUL to even it out. you know its ironic, i am my own antagonist in the pursuit to make those i love happy.

dei nergerstromble

today trisha and i went to a german movie on campus. for some weird reason i thought there would be english captions, which was a foolish assumption apparently. well anyway, from what i understood...

Siegfried, a midevil german hottie, was totally being pursued on by these two royal "schwestern" which means sisters. i think one of them was some sort of warrior and the other was a princess who loved red lipstick. okay so, they had a dual wedding and the princess ended up marrying Siegfried and the warrior married a curly-haired man who she didn't even like. OH! THEN there was this crazy man who was all "i can change my head" and he morphed into whoever he wanted and i think at some point morphed into the curly hair man and slept with the girl warrior, a scene in which i am still contemplating the relevance of. right, so then the schwestern kept having these intense encounters, which i can only imagine were verbal battles for the love of Siegfried. here is where it gets tricky because i went to the bathroom and apparently missed a very important part because when i came back Siegfried was dead. so princess red lipstick was crying over his body and 2 men, i think one of them was curly hair man, were battling it out and then warrior girl draws HER sword and then i foolishly looked down to grab a cheeto and then i look back up and there is a head rolling around on the floor so i scream a little bit. i think warrior girl cut off her husband's head because he killed Siegfried, who was the secret recipient of the warrior's unrequited love. then everyone just kind of looks at the decapitated curly head rollin around and no one even does anything to warrior because apparently she is allowed to cut off heads with no punishment, which i thought was a little shady of the legal system. *cut* to Siegfried's funeral, the corpse is floating away in a row boat on the lake and some archers shoot firery arrows at it with impressive aim, and it starts to burn. towns people are mourning on the shore when OUT OF NOWHERE the warrior pops up out of the row boat where the firey corpse is and, in a fit of desperate loveless martyrdom, stabs herself in the gut and collapses into the flames! the observers on the shore remain unimpressed and then, that is the end.

i quite liked it. even though i only understood one word throughout the movie, which was "schwester" and trisha reports to me that the 2 girls who i thought were schwestern are in fact not related. whatevs.

good things happened today

1. i slept in
2. i received a half tuition scholarship that i can apply to the study abroad!!
3. i went to the gym
4. i caved and bought some wonderful high-waisted shorts. so in.
5. i ate a chick-fil-a sandwich
6. i got a library card that is labeled "imagination passport"

i donno much about clothes but my hair looks fierce!

today i wore this fancy lancome perfume that i bought 2 summers ago and it smells like vanilla and summer and is a touch too strong. eesh, maybe there is a reason i haven't worn in in 2 years.

tomorrow i make the down-payment for vienna. i'm going. i really am! i could not be more excited. it consumes my thoughts and day-dreams and night-dreams and i can't believe i'm finally making it happen...but ugh. hunter is trying to put on a happy face be supportive but keeps muttering comments and forcing me into depressing talks about how detrimental this will be to our relationship. its starting to give me a headache. or is it this perfume?