i donno, i just laughed really hard at this.

campaignforrealbeauty.com

i have strep and a fever and i am exhausted. but i can't go to sleep because i need trisha's help on some dumb homework and she is at a birthday partay, so i will continue watching seh and the city in my underwear and eat ice because it feels good on my throat and fever.

today was cool. i fed a dirty white horse some carrots in the snow and went to the doctor which was an undeniably uncomfortable encounter. i also signed my soul away to Gold's gym. i feel trapped and will probably cancel the contract tomorrow so my mom can call me and say "i told you so." cool.

early this afternoon i was attempting to nap when my dad texted me and i leapt out of bed in a panic. after that i couldn't go back to sleep and decided to recreate my life to-do list. then i added "transcribe life to-do list" to my daily to-do list and felt moderately productive. you can find the abridged version of my list on the right side of this blog.

a few minutes ago i had a panic attack because my teeth aren't perfectly straight. then i took a second to rethink that superficial spasm, watched campaignforrealbeauty.com a couple times, and resolved to do my best to embrace my imperfections. yeah, thats all i have to say.

thou shalt not covet

i can't stop looking at pictures of mary-kate and wishing to be her.
the good news is she is 21.5 so i have 1.5 years to become that cool.
i'm starting today, with something small, like buying more jewelry and a scale.

salt

my heart is winning the battle and in the end, when i'm left stumbling around in a state of complete disconnect, my brain will scoff at my heart and say "i told you so."
i don't even know what i'm doing any more.
everyone is sick of hearing about it, i'm tired of talking about it, i'm exhausted from wrestling with myself about it. the resources have been expended and if i am required to spend one more emotional penny i will break the bank.

please be courteous and limit usage to 15 min

it's me aubrey! comin' to you live from minnesota- coldest state in the USofA. i can't even think about stepping outside without shivering. and when i do have to take the plunge into the frigid air i hold my breath and race to the car because a single intake of that cruel minnesota chill freezes my lungs and makes me cough like an old smoker. brrrr.

i am so happy. i really am. this trip has been lovely and everything i thought it wouldn't be. i'm sitting here in the hotel's cozy cute lobby, drinkin hot chocolate by the fire and blogging. could i ask for more? well yeah i could probably ask for a friend or a sister who didn't have retire to bed after dinner or a boyfriend.

speaking of boyfriend...no. i promised myself to never blog about him because prying eyes shouldn't be allowed to read about my lovelife,,,er,,likelife? er..sometimesithinkiloveyoulife? hahanotfunny.

i went over the hotel's time-limit for this computer. when a girl's gotta blog she's gotta blog

condamner mon coeur

i enjoy blogging at work because even though i am electronically scribbling garbage that is likely to get deleted within 24 hrs of posting, i am getting paid $10/hr to do so. > aha! i am a being paid to write! it's almost as if i am a real writer. almost.

well anyway, last night i had a particularly notable break-down. 2 emotionally-taxing events occurred within that 24 hour period and then my boyfriend called me fat, kind of. and that is the point at which i crumbled into a ball of weeping malaise which sounds like mayonnaise which makes me feel sick. i woke up disgustingly early this morning and again i was afflicted with the heavy organ syndrome. i do feel better though, sleep has a way of lessening physical and emotional ailments. same with time, and chocolate. you may be thinking "wow, aubrey is a loony because she cried about her boyfriend being unintentionally stupid" but that is just the tip of the iceberg. yesterday was a day i will not be able to forget for a very long time.

i may stay at BYU for spring term and take my internship pre-req class and then a million dance classes. and the weather will be warm, so i will wake up every morning and go running. and i will make a few new friends, because i hear people are friendlier during the spring. and then i will go to europe to see my sister and then go home and earn a little money and watch TiVOed shows with my mom and go to the pool with my little brother and squeeze my fluffy cat melia whenever she angrily saunters by. i feel so good about that.


i just earned $2.50 to compose this post.