this isn't real life

oh no. its four weeks away and just thinking about coming home gives me a panic attack. please don't make me! everything at home is so unsure and scary. well here everything is so unsure and scary too, but its the good kind of unsure and scary.

day of sun and fun

this morning we woke up to the sun shining and we had no responsibilities for the first time in foreverrrr. so little sponge and i threw on our swimming suits and headed to the beautiful alte danau for some quality time in the sun. rented paddle boats, cruised around the river for a couple hours, walked around the cutest part of town that felt like we were transported to a tropical island, then took naps in the park like hobos. it was so relaxing and we got some great tans, so now we are gonna clean up and meet some friends to go dancing. tomorrow we are hitting up the flea market early in the morning and then going to this austrian kid's pool party for more fun in the sun. you guys, i love austria sooooo much. vienna is the most spectacular city in the world. i never want to leave.

it was a mistake like pisa

alex and i bought one-way tickets to rome. should be an interesting adventure.

got my thinkin' music on

so even though this post is going to be a huge struggle for me to write due to a tragic football accident (see above photo, although you can't see how blue or poofy my index finger is), i feel compelled to write about today. it was very eventful. in my mind. lots of thinking. so i'll start at the beginning. my finger was hurting like a mother effer and i was sulking about how many difficult decisions i have to face right now and how annoying everyone on the study abroad was being, when i suddenly realized how inexcusably bratty i was being. my best friend, my little sister, mom, AND my little brother are all going through REALLY crappy times right now. i mean really freakin hard times. i had to get up and leave. i began walking to the subway station, sunglasses concealing the tears streaming down my face. it was a combination of guilt and helplessness. i wondered why they have to deal with such crappy things in this life and how easy life has been on me so far. its unfair! i must house a weaker spirit than their's. ok so then, i was crushed by a giant rock to the face. figuratively. if there can even be a figurative interpretation of that... that is what it felt like. it was as simple as seeing an elderly shabby man, clothing and grime layered on his body in 90 degree weather, limping along the crowded streets of vienna with his hand outstretched. begging. i literally stopped in my tracks. i stared. the tears streamed faster as my mind raced to grasp exactly what emotion i was now feeling. i have seen hundreds of beggars in my life but none had affected me the way this man did. this man's every posession in the world was being carried on his back. he had no one to care for, and no one to care for him. life was cruel to him, ripped away whatever love or possessions he was entitled to and left him on the streets for people to pretend not to see. no matter how excruciating the emotional pain gets for me or my loved ones, it will never be to that point. now the only question i reflect on is "how did we get so lucky?" who is to say i don't deserve to be that homeless man stumbling down the streets alone? now- overwhelming gratitude.

eisley told me "when we get down, we'll get up again"
i have faith that my friends and family who are currently struggling will find their feet very soon, and know that no matter how crappy life is, they are never alone. cheesy, but true.

the times, they are a'changin

so i recently decided that i want to be a good cook. i have spent this entire morning compiling recipes i want to master into a powerpoint-cookbook and it is lookin mighty delicious so far. pumpkin cream cheese muffins, mango-peach salsa with southwestern chicken, sesame grilled asparagus, red velvet cupcakes, etc etc. i only wish i had a couple weeks at home this summer so that i could make all these things in my mom's kitchen. no dice, i'm cruisin off to p-town as soon as i get off this forever long study abroad. well anyway, i am excited to cultivate my cooking skills and if anyone has any favorite recipes feel free to send em my way.

two checks

i am an official registered resident of vienna, so i got to check off "live internationally."
i rode in a gondola at night, so i got to check off "ride in a gondola at night."
neat-o.

venice

i just got home from venezia. everything i have ever tagged as "amazing" in the past is now stripped of its title, except for this trip. truly a dream. i don't feel much like going into detail, but here are a few px.

favorite shell of my new collection



















i started a shell collection

its kind of freaky how much i love cats.

hi venice

thats quite an expensive dinner















just a pretty view from our table




















this is kylie and i on the grand canal at night in venice
















andres. he thought it was my birthday and let me row the gondola